To help pass the time during the long summer, the r/hockey sub-reddit has been running a series roasting every team in the NHL. Users can post their their best burns (or just some harsh truths) for karma, and today, the Buffalo Sabres have their feet up against the flames.
You can check out the ongoing Sabres roast here, but we’ve collected the best burns we’ve seen so far for your self-loathing pleasure. Hope you’ve got a good sense of humor, Sabres fans.
You have a Sabres forward, a Sabres center, and a Buffalo born hockey player all in one car, who is driving it?
The cop.
Wow, we’re just gonna dive right in, huh?
The Sabres have one of the most apt names in all sports. Much like the weapon that is their namesake, the team hasn’t been useful or relevant for quite some time.
Historically accurate burn!
Your chicken is more relevant than your hockey team.
Actually not that mad about this one.
Ryan O’Reilly is supposed to be your number 1 C but he’s more like a .08 BAC.
Yeah but he almost won the Masterton though.
Remember when the Sabres traded for ROR thinking that he would help them avoid crashing and burning like they did two seasons ago?
*sticks fingers in ears, begins shouting* MASTERTON MASTERTON MASTERTON
Oh, I wasn’t prepared for this one, I just assumed we’d be last.
I see what you did there.
I’m going to wake up later in the morning and look at all these roasts that I’ve posted while drunk. That useless internet karma means nothing, but it’s still more valuable than anything a team from Buffalo has ever won
Bonus points for the reddit/Sabres combo burn.
Matthews > Eichel
Babcock > Bylsma
William > Alex
GO AWAY TORONTO
More like Buttalo sabutts hehehhehehehe
He’s got us there, boys.
The Buffalo pro hockey team with the most current success is the Beauts (NWHL, established 2015), who quickly endeared themselves to the city by carrying on the time-honored Buffalo sports tradition of losing in the finals.
Hey, you leave the Beauts out of this!
And we have to include this epic self-inflicted gem from BU-ffalo:
Where else in the world can a sports team exist that lost on purpose, went dead last in the league twice in a row, and still managed to lose the lottery; that didn’t earn a single point in January 2015; that has fans who actively cheered when they lost a game; that employs a drunk driver and an abuser of woman; that erected a statue of a man who died driving drunk; that actually thought that this logo and this jersey were good ideas; that has fans who whine a decade and a half later about losing the Stanley Cup to a better team and get pissy about the spelling of the word “sabre”; that has jerseys with massive pit stains; whose best player is imaginary, whose jumbotron collapsed onto the ice in 1996; that lost in the Stanley Cup final twice, and couldn’t even win with the best goalie of all time; that hasn’t won the Stanley Cup in 45+ years of miserable existence; and uses as a logo an animal that isn’t the mascot of their team and technically isn’t even a buffalo…
…and still only be the second worst team in town?
Check the reddit thread for more quality Sabres hate throughout the day, and shout out your favorite burn or give us your own in the comments.