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Sabres at Canadiens Recap: Sabres Play Worst Game Of Professional Hockey Ever Witnessed By Humans

Quick Recap

The Sabres were outshot by an astounding 15-1 margin the first period, and took two penalties to Montreal’s zero. According to TBN’s Mike Harrington, when you take blocked and missed shots into account as well, the Habs had 30 total shots and the Sabres just four. As George Takei would say, “Oh, my.

The second period was even worse, as the Sabres let in three more goals, and two within 30 seconds. In the third, Thomas Vanek continued his quest to score 40 goals in 48 games by putting a shorthanded goal to bring his tally to seven goals in eight games, but the Sabres showed no signs of life despite 18 shots, a Jhonas Enroth sighting, and a Steve Ott fight and finished the game with a 6-1 loss. Tyler Myers was particularly bad again, and Andrej Sekera left with an injury and did not return.

The previous paragraphs cannot capture just how poorly the Sabres played in this game. It was three periods of complete ineptitude in all phases of the game. I certainly hope that’s the worst game of the season.

Things I Would Have Rather Done Than Watched This Game

– Listened to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” on repeat for two hours.

– Talked to a New Englander about why Boston sports teams get no respect.

– Watch all nine seasons of Two And A Half Men on DVD.

– Played two hours of Penn & Teller’s Desert Bus.

– Watched the replay of the Sabres Game 7 loss to Carolina in the 2006 playoffs while getting punched repeatedly in the face by Doug Janik.

– Cleaned the men’s room toilets at my local neighborhood Arby’s.

– Anything else.

Feel free to vent in the comments.