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Daily Links for Wednesday, Nov. 10

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By Andy Boron Updated
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Our dramatic prediction of the Sabres season continues with Act 2 after the break - check it out to see how things are going for the lovable losers from Buffalo.

NOTEBOOK: TUESDAY UPDATES - Buffalo Sabres
With Craig Rivet still battling the flu, Patrick Lalime joined him on the sidelines Tuesday with a stomach ailment.

New Sabre Niedermayer keeps the faith - The Buffalo News
Rob Niedermayer signed with the Buffalo Sabres because he was convinced they would charge into the playoffs and have a crack at winning the Stanley Cup.

More Negative Buffalo Press (and not what you might think) - Sabres Everywhere
Written a while back, but it's an interesting read about the constant and unabated bashing of the Sabres' organization and media from around the league.

Kassian on the move? - SabresProspects.com
Windsor Spitfires General Manager Warren Rychel has announced that he will likely deal two of his star players now that Taylor Hall (EDM) and Cam Folwler (ANA) will not be coming back to the OHL. Among the players likely on the move before the January 10th trade dealine is Buffalo's 2009 first-round pick, Zack Kassian.

NHL broadcast rights in a perfect world - From The Rink
With ESPN and Versus both interested in the NHL's TV rights, is there a way to get the best of both worlds? A look at the ideal situation to benefit the NHL.

What to expect from ‘NHL Overtime’, VERSUS’ new hockey show - Puck Daddy
VERSUS is adding a nightly, hour-long hockey show called "NHL Overtime" to its schedule beginning on Monday, Nov. 15.

GMs shelve Tallon's idea of coach's challenge - NHL.com
Dale Tallon's idea of giving coaches one challenge per game in order to contest a disputed goal received little support among his fellow GM's.

 

*Editor's Note: The viewpoints expressed in this production do not represent the viewpoints of the author or any Die By The Blade editors. It's just for funsies.

 

Act 2

The Sabres are struggling to tread water, but many of the younger players have quickly shown promise. They are clinging to a late one goal lead against Ottawa when "Wild Thing" Myers gives up a breakaway to Daniel Alfredsson. Rivet hastily gives chase, but can't catch up. He then tries something different...

Rivet: Hey, Alfredsson! Helluva situation you got here, game on the line and all. You got a chance to be a hero on national television, so don't blow it. 
Alfredsson: Shut up, Rivet, will ya?
Rivet: Hey, I can understand not wantin' to talk about hockey when your nuts are in a vice like this. Alfredsson, slightly irritated, looks back at Rivet. By the way, I saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You must be very proud. Alfredsson is trying to ignore Rivet, but failing badly. But that guy she was with... I mean I'm sure he's a close personal friend of yours and all, but tell me...Alfredsson winds up to shoot...Why was Jim Corsi wearing her panties on his head?
Alfredsson swings and misses badly, falls over, the horn sounds and Buffalo wins.
Ruff: (laughing) It's startin' to come together, Brian! It's startin' to come together.



Things are slowly getting better for the struggling Sabres. Even the broadcast team has taken notice:

Jeanerette: In case you haven't noticed, and judging by attendance, you haven't, the Sabres, that thought-to-be hopeless collection of has-been's and never-will-be's is actually approaching the .500 mark, and with it, semi-respectability. Nothing to write home about, to be sure, but at least we don't have to cover our eyes.



However, the evil Tom Golisano is still trying to drive down attendance so he can move the team to hockey-mad Miami. After a hard fought win we cut to Ruff, naked in preparation for a soak in the hot tub, who is stopped short by the sight of Golisano standing in the middle of the locker room as various unclad players dive for cover.

Golisano: Don't you think you oughta cover yourself with a towel, Mr. Ruff?
Ruff: There aren't any towels and I'm too old to be diving under benches.
Golisano: Well, I can take it if you can.
Ruff: What happened to the new whirlpool we were supposed to get? And those team DVDs of "Laura Stamm's Power Skating?"
Golisano: Revenue problems have forced us to cut back. Your players will just have to get tougher. What are they, a bunch of pansies?
Ruff tries really, really hard not to look at Roy, Connolly, Vanek, Pominville, Sekera, Ennis, Stafford, or basically anyone not on the fourth line.
Golisano: Besides, these guys weren't playing that good when the equipment was workin'. If I could get anybody to come and watch this team, none of this would be necessary. You oughta be grateful I can still pay your salaries.

With that, Golisano walks out. Ruff and the others can only watch him go. They sit in silence for a moment until Rivet stands to address the team.

Rivet:  I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been playin' hockey since I was five years old, which would have been in 1958. I've had some good years and some years to forget. I've burned out my knees... I don't think I have three fingers that work right... I've lost most of the money I made and got benched as the captain. But I know one thing... I can still play this game a little. And I'd like to know who in this room thinks they're the kinda bum Mr. Golisano is lookin' for?
Eyes dart around the room, no hands are raised.
Rivet: Well, then I guess there's only one thing left to do.
Connolly: What's that?
Rivet: Win the whole f***in' thing.


We take cuts of the startled faces of the players. As the idea sinks in, they begin to come to life. Some totally rad 80's music begins and we're into a MONTAGE!!!!

Coming tomorrow: MONTAGE!!! Oooooo we need a montage!

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