A Message To The Boston Bruins

Warning: the following video may contain footage which is unsuitable for hockey followers who are looking for scoring, a fast-pace and an enjoyable match. The Boston Bruins exhibit none of the above and play such a boring style, that it will prompt you to fall asleep or change the channel. Viewer discretion is advised.

This is what should be shown on the television prior to any event featuring the Bruins. In eliminating the Buffalo Sabres, it was a classic case of hard work overcoming talent. I'll admit they were the better side and deserved to move on. When a team doesn't convert once on the powerplay in a series, it's a recipe for disaster. But does Boston really expect to get further with the Pittsburgh Penguins likely their next target in round two? I think not.

All they've accomplished is setting themselves up for an embarrassment and providing fans with at least four more contests of this uninteresting approach. I would congratulate them if I thought they had a rightful place in the postseason, but I won't. I'll write a postcard to each player on Boston with a message or friendly advice. Contrary to popular belief, some will actually be positive words for a select few.

Tomorrow, I'll pull out the pen and paper for the Buffalo Sabres.

Steve Begin: Known for your physical tactics, I applaud you for only taking two minutes worth of penalties in the six games. Those powerplay minutes wouldn't have helped at all and the Bruins chances of notching a shorthanded goal were higher.

Patrice Bergeron: I understand why you were selected to represent Canada at the Winter Olympics. Your face-off percentages, lively attitude and fore-checking were annoying to say the least.

Johnny Boychuk: May someone take your legs out from underneath you the same way you chopped Thomas Vanek down. That will bring you to the injured reserve and back to anonymity where you belong. What goes around, comes around.

Zdeno Chara: My utmost respect for your leadership qualities and nearly 30 minutes of ice time per game. Enjoy trying to stop Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and company. Keep the oxygen tanks nearby.

Andrew Ference: Too much time missed in the last three years for me to bad-mouth; you're already snake-bitten as it is. Won't be needing my negativity.

Matt Hunwick: A defenseman who actually pinches in to create offense. Boston can't sell seats without you because everybody else counts their blocked shots as if their goals.

David Krejci: Do you read my work? How else could you have known I said Tim Connolly was a class or two above you? You showed me; I mean Tim.

Milan Lucic: A good tough kid who can knock teeth out or pucks in. However, it's been a while since he's put someone through the glass. Mike Van Ryn is waiting.

Adam McQuaid: I have a soft spot for youngsters who are just starting their NHL days. Have a great and promising career.

Daniel Paille: Try all you want because you're a former first-round draft pick who failed superbly. The sky third line is the limit.

Mark Recchi: When did they let you out of the retirement home? Did you remember to bring your medicine?

Michael Ryder: Scored two goals in one game of the first round. Should have spread it out a little because that's your limit for the postseason.

Miroslav Satan: Our sniper for almost a decade. I won't forget how many goals you scored for us. That being said, burn in hell Satan.

Vladimir Sobotka: Did I spell it right? You remind me of Raffi Torres. Except for the fact that you actually contributed for your squad. 

Marco Sturm: Zero points. It's people like you who gave Buffalo a decent shot at stealing this series.

Shawn Thornton: Please beat up Matt Cooke for real this time.

Blake Wheeler: Missed an empty net in game six. You're okay in my book.

Dennis Wideman: Were it not for your giveaways, the humor would cease to exist. Continue doing that as the playoffs progress because laughter is the best medicine.

Tuukka Rask: Handled the adversity like a veteran and proved his regular season wasn't a joke. The Toronto Maple Leafs could have used you.

Coaching Staff: Claude Julien resembles a frog.